Learning about an unplanned pregnancy can be overwhelming and frightening. Women aren’t the only ones who experience these emotions. We realize that the fathers-to-be are facing their own mix of emotions and feelings. If your girlfriend or spouse is pregnant, you may have several questions running through your mind, such as:
- What can I do? I’m not ready for this.
- What does she want from me?
- What do I say to her? To her parents? To MY parents?
- Will I have to quit school to help raise this child?
- How can I afford this?
We recognize that men need assistance and guidance as they discuss these important choices with their partners. These choices will affect the rest of their lives and the life of their unborn baby.
Our Advice To Fathers
Life Line Pregnancy Center provides educational information on alternatives to abortion, helping lower abortion rates in New Hanover and the surrounding counties. We are committed to helping couples who are facing an unplanned pregnancy. We know this can be a confusing time for all those involved, so here’s some quick advice that may benefit you right now:
1. Get A Lab-Certified Pregnancy Test
The first step is to confirm that she is pregnant. While a missed period is the most common indication of pregnancy, it doesn’t always mean that she is pregnant. Here at Life Line, she can take a free, confidential lab test to find out for sure.
2. Take Time To Listen To Her And Stay Calm
While she is physically carrying the baby, you are BOTH parents, and right now the baby needs both of you. Take time to listen to her and do not apply any pressure on her. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation.
3. Remember That You’re A Team
You both have an important role to play in this pregnancy, even if you decide to give the baby up for adoption. Work together as a team. The situation involves much more than just you: there are now three lives to consider. Our compassionate counselors can help you work through the concerns you each have.
4. Talk About It
You’ll need to have several conversations with each other and with parents, friends, and others close to the situation. Be sure NOT to tell these people until the mother is ready to talk about the baby. It may help her for you to be present when she does. Remember to express yourself honestly. Feelings of anger, frustration and fear are normal, but make sure she knows that she is not alone.
5. Stay By Her Side
An unexpected child is an overwhelming experience, but you cannot run from this situation. The more you try to run, the harder it will become to think and act clearly.
6. Gather Information Now
You’ll need a lot of information to help you make the choice that is best for you, your girlfriend, and your baby. Seek wise counsel and ask for educational information.
7. Get Budgeting Help
If you don’t have a budget or you’ve never had a financial budget, now is a good time to start one. There are several free, online budget planning software programs (such as mint.com) available to help you. If you have questions about creating a budget, speak with one of our Life Line counselors.
While you may feel alone, remember that the Life Line Pregnancy Center has helped couples facing many similar challenges. Call us at 910-392-0001 and let us know how we can help you.